You Won’t Believe What I Let My Wife Do

I remember an amazing place where I was treated like a king.  Welcomed into a comfortable, leather chair, donned with a cape I was asked if I would like a hot towel.  A hot towel?  In my head, I asked, “why?”, but I ended up saying “yes.”  Everywhere I looked there were TV’s.  Simultaneously I could watch Sports Center, NFL, NBA, Curling or any sport you could think of while sitting in that chair.  I was offered a shampoo and even a massage.  I wasn’t dreaming.  This was a real place.   As I sat there with my hot towel, I wondered if this is what heaven would be like?  If I was offered tacos, then yes.  This is exactly what heaven would be like.  For me, getting a haircut was almost like heaven.

Well, that magical place is just a memory now.  I realized that every time I went, I paid about $18 which included a tip.  My wife said, ” how about I cut your hair?”  For more of my wife’s ideas, read this.  She’s had some good ideas and some really bad ones as well.  She said, “we can save money on getting haircuts for you and the boys by doing them at home.”

Now getting haircuts for Lindsey and Gracie was different.  A professional would be needed.  But for us boys, we just needed a good pair of clippers, some hair cutting scissors and we were good to go.  So I ended up getting a kit for about $20 which was a little more than the price of a haircut.   We would be saving almost $60 a month.

Little did I know that my haircutting experience would take a dramatic turn.  My wife had no experience cutting hair, but it was either be her guinea pig or get a Flowbee.  Her salon was in our bathroom.  There was no music, no TV’s, except the one out of view in my bedroom tuned into HGTV.  Her salon had clothes scattered on the floor and there was a tiny hard stool to sit on near the toilet.  I didn’t get a cape.  I just wore an old t-shirt where hair would eventually fall down my back.  Oh, how the king had fallen. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6d4HV8rSQZM

Wearing a mumu, she looked at me and turned on the clippers.  That sound sent chills down my spine.  She was smiling.  I just sat there on my hard stool while my wife gleamed with excitement. There were several attachments that would cut my hair at different lengths.  I frantically tried to remember what sizes were used when I used to get my haircut at that now distant heavenly place.  Was it a 2 and a 5?  A 3 and a 6?  Lindsey said, “we’ll just try a couple and see where we end up.”  And then she gave out an evil laugh.  I remember when it was time to turn my head, the hairdresser would gently touch my chin and swivel my chair.   But Lindsey just grabbed my head at the top and pushed  it while yelling “turn!”  

At the end, she trimmed around my ears.  Immediately I felt pain.  She had cut the top part that connects from my ear to the side of my head.  On to the other ear she went.  And again, another cut.  I said “seriously?”  She said, “I’ll get better.”

When all was said and done, I stood up and looked in the mirror to see the damage.  It was like a bomb full of hair went off.  Instead of blow drying the hair off of my neck, I was escorted to the shower to rinse off.  After I rinsed off, I had to sweep up my own hair. 

Then Lindsey said, “where’s my tip?”

It was only after I was out of the shower, that I would see some of the damage done.   There would be random long hairs that were missed.  One area on my left side looked like a mini Mr. T hairdo. 

Well, some years and countless haircuts have gone by since that first dark day.  And I would say one out two times she nicks my ear.  So if my calculations are correct, I will lose an ear in another 6 months.

But I can say she has improved greatly.  When it comes to the boys, she puts her game face on and has produced some pretty good haircuts.  She’s like Edward Scissorhands.  However, I ‘m not so lucky.

Do I miss my piece of heaven?  Yes.  I will say though that we have saved a lot of money.  The funny thing is that when you get your haircut at a salon, you end up talking with your hairdresser about everything under the sun.  So I may not get my hot towel anymore, but I still get to have conversations with the one I love the most.  And I wouldn’t trade that for the world.

What crazy things have you done to save money?