Why You Should Say Yes To Everything Your Kid Wants

As soon as our children are born, they start the process of not needing their parents.  That’s a daunting thought, but true.  In a span of 18 years, they learn to breathe on their own, crawl, ride a bike, drive a car and graduate high school.  Then they know everything and they no longer need your input or protection.  Well, at least that’s what they think.  

Now I am not a child psychologist and neither is my wife, but we are parents.  We have learned some amazing things over the span of 10 years raising our kids.

A while back I wrote an article titled, “Why I Put Myself In Timeout”.  Basically, we as parents should not make everything about us so much and take a back seat to what our kids need.  It inspired me to write this one.  

Not too long ago I watched an interview with an 87 year old actor, William Shatner.  They asked him what has he has learned in his golden years.  He said that he has learned to say yes to everything.  And now at an age where you are expected to slow down, he has more amazing things happening and he looks very happy.  That’s a crazy philosophy.  Say yes to everything?

With kids, you can’t say yes to everything.  If my wife and I said yes to everything our son wanted, I would be a superhero 24 hours a day while eating blow pops.  If we said yes to everything our daughter wanted, we would be making slime surrounded by a farm full of animals in our backyard.  You get the picture.  But can we say yes to more?  Yes. 

Sometimes what kids want is not even verbalized.  So we need to be more aware of what they unconsciously need.  Instead of ignoring, we need to listen to our gut instinct.  It usually falls in line with what your kid is already craving.  You.  

I remember there were times when my son would come up and ask “Daddy, can we play superheroes?”  I would say, “not now, I’m watching a tv show.”  And when that show would be over, I would forget to play with him.  Then there were other times I would say I’m too busy. 

Was I?  Probably.  However, sometimes that was usually my own doing. 

For some reason, I had this idea when becoming a dad, that I would find myself running through the house playing hide and go seek with my kids or having impromptu moments, where we would stop whatever we were doing and head to the park.  Instead, when asked, sometimes I was choosing to tell them no.  I was saying no to their little voices asking me to do something in this short season of their life that was something other than what I wanted to do.  I didn’t always come right out and say it, but my body language and whatever I used for my excuse sent the message loud and clear.

But then I started asking myself one question that changed everything. 

At this very moment, what is more important?   

Is it watching my favorite show, finishing my work or is it giving them the most valuable thing the both of us will ever own which is time? 

Now I don’t want to paint a picture that we hardly do anything with our kids.  We definitely do.  But sometimes a parents idea of spending time with their kids is hauling them to soccer practice.  When honestly, their idea of time with you is as simple as coloring together.

So we have become more conscious about saying yes to what our kids want.  It’s usually spontaneous.  At the time it can seem inconvenient.  But it’s always exactly what we’re supposed to be doing.  

We have got to where we stop whatever we were doing and play a board game.  If the house needs to be cleaned and there were chores to do, we put it off, go outside and play chase instead.

You see, one day our house won’t be filled with noise.  It won’t be as messy as it is now.  And we will miss it dearly.

Right now our kids want band-aids for perfectly normal skin.  That band-aid will be on the floor in 137 seconds.  But there will be a day when they won’t ask for band-aids anymore.  So we are saying yes to it now.

My son loves to put shaving cream on my face before I shave.  He does not do a good job.  But soon enough, I will be teaching him to shave.  So I am saying yes everytime he wants to do it.

Our kids are not always going to ask us to watch them slide down a slide.  They won’t always ask my wife to kiss their boo boo. 

When it rains outside, our kids want to go outside and play.  One day they will think that is ludicrous like we do now.  But we’re saying yes as long as it’s not freezing outside.  

We’re saying yes to making slime and having sword fights.  

One day they will quit asking you a million questions because they will think they know everything.  So we’re saying yes to answering all of their questions now.  Well, most of them.

The truth is that you don’t really have eighteen years with your kids.  It’s more like eleven.  Once middle school starts, the coming of age years start.  It’s just not the same. 

They will quit asking you to play with them. 

There aren’t invites to come into their room and hang out. 

My dad jokes won’t be funny. 

They will drive off in a car with their friends.

They will get a girlfriend or boyfriend.

There will be times when they won’t want to talk to you or tell you about their day.

When they are little, they want you to do their homework.

When they are teenagers, they will still want you to do their homework. 

And before you know it, parents are dorks.  Don’t take it personally.  That’s just how it is.

Just know that they will love you as much as they ever have.

Now I’m not sure when that moment will come when our kids will be too big to carry to bed or when they will stop asking us to play with them.  But we’re not in any hurry to get there.

You can’t turn back time but you can be much more aware of the time your in and that you’re not missing out on what’s right in front of you.

I finally realize why grandparents seem to have more fun with kids.  That’s because this time around they have learned to say yes to their grandkids.

Embrace the stage of life your kids are in and you won’t feel like you missed out.  I promise.

What do your kids want that you can say yes to now?