10 Critical Lessons We Have Taught Our Kids

Not too long ago, I hit a curb and punctured my tire.  Have you ever changed the tire on a Town & Country mini-van?  The spare is underneath the driver and passenger seats.  It took almost an hour just to figure out how to get my spare.  Changing it would be a whole other problem.  Once I was able to fish it out from under my van, I wondered if I should continue or just call a wrecker service.  It had been years since I had changed a tire, but I gave it a go anyway. 

It seemed as though the lug wrench didn’t fit the lug nuts.  I paced around, wondering if I should stop, but soon realized that the wrench was probably fine and that my dadbod was to blame.  After some soul searching, I pushed through and completed the job.

Tired and dirty, I sat down in my van and remembered that I should have a manual.  I opened the glove box and found it.

Now I am a father of three and the crazy thing here is that my van has a 449-page manual but my kids do not.  The nurse never handed me or my wife a booklet of any sort.  All we got was a beanie, blanket and a snot sucker.  Now a mini-van can have a lot of buttons and systems that you need to understand, but it pales in comparison to the hardest and yet most rewarding job we will ever have.  And that is being a parent.  I might make a manual one day.  But for now, I just have to learn on my feet.

With that said, what is it like for a kid to navigate through life?  Kids don’t have all the skills that adults do.  Childhood is spent discovering those skills.  It’s spent learning morals and all of the things that make them responsible adults.  We as parents need to be more deliberate at teaching our children life skills and how to be a good person.  So I have put together a list of 10 critical lessons we have taught our kids.  It’s not 449 pages long, but it can be the groundwork for becoming an adult.  

1. Finish What You Start – If it’s a sport, school project or a commitment of any kind.  By all means, we make our kids follow through with it.  Is it important for my son or daughter to go to his or her soccer practices and games even when they don’t want to?  Yes.  If it is something they wanted to sign up for, this is my chance as a parent to teach them commitment.  The next time they want to sign on for something, it will weigh a little heavier in their thought process.  A lot of life is doing things that you thought you wanted to do.  We teach them this lesson as early as possible.  And when they don’t quit and press through, they might come to like it again.
2. Limit Screen Time – The goal here is that my kids learn to limit screen time on their own.  We may be the initial enforcer, but they need to learn it themselves.  If my kid can say, “I’ve spent enough time on the iPad today.” then I have helped them learn the importance of self-discipline.  Self-discipline will help them navigate through life with better decision-making skills.
3. Ride A Bike – I know kids older than mine that can not ride a bike.  The reason.  See number 2.  Also, the parents are either too busy or don’t think it’s important.  Children need to learn self-reliance or else they will be living in your basement until they are 40.  It also teaches them that when they fall, they have to get back up and try again.  An iPad won’t teach them that.
4. Don’t Cuss – When I was a child, I had a potty mouth.  I’ve heard it said that cuss words are what people use when their vocabulary and communication skills are limited.  Now as parents, we don’t want our kids to say bad words.  And if cussing is something that we do, then we may find our kids being little mockingbirds.  We let our kids know that absolutely no cussing is aloud and that goes for the parents as well.  
5. Play Chess – I learned how to play chess as a kid.  Now I have taught my kids and they absolutely love it.  The queen is one of the most valuable pieces.  I can’t tell you how many times my kids took one of my less important pieces, only to expose their queen.  I would then go in and take the queen.  I would then say, “before every move you make, think about how it will affect every other piece.”  Chess is unique in that it teaches our kids cause and effect in decision-making.  I really believe it’s crucial in a child understanding the consequences of their actions.
6. Be The Opposite Of A Bully – We tell our kids all the time that if someone is being bullied at school, that they should speak up.  And it’s best to tell a teacher or someone on staff.  They can also befriend whoever is being bullied.   If they are the ones being bullied, then they have to stand up for themselves.  Bullies live off of the fear of the person being bullied.  If they are deprived of that, chances are they will back off.  When my kids can stand up for themselves or others, it teaches them courage.  And courage is a crucial part of growing up.
7. Throw and Catch A Ball – I’m serious guys.  I never learned this.  I can’t count how many times I found myself in situations where I had to throw and catch a ball and it was obvious that I wasn’t good at it.  I’m not an athlete in any sense of the word, but I am going to spare my kids the embarrassment of not knowing how to throw and catch a ball.  I want my kids to have all the tools to be confident in any situation.
8. Have Conversations – Yes, this really needs to be on here.  With the rise of social media and texting, we’re teaching our kids how to sit down and have a conversation.   One way we do this is by eating together as a family.  No phones or tablets are allowed at the table and we try to do this at least once a week.  
9. Don’t Do Drugs – Our daughter is going into Junior High and we have had several conversations about drugs.  She needs to know from us what they are, what they can do and how to avoid them.  If we don’t have this conversation with her, someone else will and their intentions could be far different from ours.
10. Your Word Is Everything – We teach our kids that the one thing that matters the most is that they do what they say they are going to do.  This will matter more and more as they get older.  For example, if they make a commitment to go to a birthday party, they need to go.  We watch very closely what we tell our kids because if we tell them we are going to do something, 99% of the time, we are going to do it.  Keeping your word encompasses so many things when it comes to being a responsible person.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fl1CTN-lCV4

This is by no means everything we teach our kids.  I could go on and on.  I guess the important thing here is that we have to teach our kids with purpose.  Being a parent is one of the most important things we will ever do, so we have to take it seriously.

What is a critical lesson that you have taught your kids?

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